misc haiku

my greed is growing
my standards ate growing too
I am a yuppie

my eyelids weigh lots
little sticks like Ulysses
I want to see home

the fact that your teeth
need orthodontic attention
is nothing really

carve it on my wall
I’m sorry if I don’t think of
original things

sweet home derrière
kid rock misses Pamela
he is a rapper?

it’s funny and sad
that she effed you in the A
we knew it would come

promote the movie
contractual arrangements
such calculations

when a film gets out
of the door, residuals
are in question now

on with the show now
there are so many who sneak
give us a bad name

life in the tropics
the sun is damaging me
fill up my mai tai

spend lots on T.V.
advertise to your mother
I like drinking booze

I feel close to it
my student loans are mounting
take it eee-eee-say

why can’t I just not
express myself to the class
I don’t feel like it

fly this way and that
my exhaling attracts you
you know I’ll kill you

musically we mesh
though you frequently get mad
imagine the funds

my musical needs
let’s create and move on
I am bad at work

it’s cold in that room
the internet stinks in there
don’t put us in there, please

many diff’rent things
are considered signs of God
let’s trustr in ourselves

the depth of your mind
nope. Not in a million years
will I be with you

a constant message
with the least costly method
IMC campaign

restrictions create
a volume inflated.
or is it the flip

art is sacrifice
what kind of world is living
not my fav’rit kind

control the content
the best search engine results
I will own the world

I forgot my shirt.
As the party was dying.
I just grabbed my vest.

there are so many
just me and my machine gun
I’m interactive

like a fly you’ll be
an annoying piece of trash
your guts on the wall

how you people sleep
is so mysterious to me
think of the children

technical issues
technical understanding
technical function

quality control
encode captions properly
guide product function

take it to the grave
consider your soul brothers
they’d take one for you

this school is not shit
but I think that over time
greed has corrupted

sell, sell sell sell, sell
money money money, sell
sell sell sell, sell sell

unethical things
will make your company bad
and you won’t make cash

survival, success
sell everything you can sell
don’t care about them

shake the tree and puke
get out of the car ok
your wife’s mad at you

nod your head, could be
what kind of teacher are you
I could teach this class

retired actors
some can be so uppity
they will stonewall you

share information,
lose your opportunities.
competition’s hot

I’d like a shower
warm water flows on my head
I open my mouth

getting a haircut
“can you use a Flowbee please?”
“all the same length please”

if I whored myself
I would also hate myself
I’d rather not work

this effing country.
People are vain and only
care about money

You want an agent
They want some of your money
A catch-22

I am sickened by
Hannah Montana, I mean
it’s Miley Cyrus

ah, what is the point
they annoyed me a lot, and
now it is better

the fish like the shine
make sure to take your watch off
or else you might bleed

talent/manager
is it possible to work?
hammer it out, yo

shiny, glass surface
like a freshly Pledge’d table
exhilaration

make sure my feet stick
I can’t stand up very well
at least I don’t pose

early morning waves
“anything for the surf, bra”
is it ever cold!!

The “Dawn Patrol” bonds
sunrise unlike anything
I don’t like mornings

I’m like a dolphin
I can swim in water, and I
have sex for pleasure

the grinding action
of my muscles and acid
this is what I crave

outward emotions
I can read you like a book
you are a liar

dirt gets in my nose
as the shovel breaks the ground
my skin is leaking

which one was the first
the chicken or did the egg
questions forever

I miss Ex’pression
though walls at Full Sail are nice
but there are no girls

bring the costs down fast
pay the workers less money
you’ll end up in hell

it’s based in L.A.
network’s rooted in the past
where should I live now?

emotional temp
sidetrack your ability
they’re manageable?

the yoga handout
Justin wants to breathe fire
Erin won’t get it

people from the north say words like fire, pail, rail, and grill as one syllable. But people from the south make them into two syllables.

marvel at my tail (north)
eat beano and feel great (south)
hang on the mantle

the know all aspect
of your personality's
why you're avoided

sometimes you don’t care
“Please tell me about your life.
No, act’ally don’t.”

the cow chews the cud
spin like a washing machine
mesmerization

sincere discussions
talk to me about yourself
no thank you, I’m tir’d

strange phenomenon
we can talk of wiping butts
but not breasts, ok??

I think poo is worse
than breasts, they’re external skin.
Poo can be messy!

in some ways death tempts
my words result in eye rolls
ignorance is bliss

my autonomy
silence me and I will stop
but a dick I’ll be!

it’s a stressful job
my co-workers are assholes
boy, I want to quit

don’t you put me down
confidence is based in it
I’ll come after you

I’m paid well, ha ha
“paging Dr. So & So”
you’re still a child

make lots of money
reschedule my appointment
Dr. So & So

you describe yourself
people have lots of issues
show me the money

a fulfilling role
redefine activities
make your job worth it

brainstorm the options
int’rests with the other side
listen and argue

is it all worth it?
proactive not reactive
don’t let them cut you

bite the sour grass
fill my mouth up with dog pee
why is it so good?

plum wine and sake
cheap beer and seaweed crunchies
imitation crab

this pack weighs a ton
walk hard 'till the sun goes down
dig a hole to poop

Elizabeth, ha
don't you dare try to tell her
about her bus'ness

we got the fever
it don't matter what they want
we need room to move

the circle of poo
even the little one needs
appreciation

juvenile prankster
ants in the peanut butter
broken childhood

the environment
cover our waste with plastic
God is getting mad

love the FCC
the man knows best doesn't he
gimme some money

go to the movies
the people chew so loudly
krinkle your wrapper

memorize your script
fake like you like the ladies
lip liner and blush

the bubbles tickle
effervescence fills the mouth
don't call your parents

wedding reception
be careful not to get trashed
'till death do us part

raindrops pitter-pat
lil' rivers run down the roof
harness the excess

she just seems sincere
so what if she voted yes
our best int'rests

remember the date
write it on your calendar
anniversary!!

snap, crackle, and pop
focus the sun's beam on 'em
have compassion, God!

your needs, wants, int'rests
negative emotions kill
get our brain to quit

the who and the what
positive emotions can
stimulate fairness

prepare in advance
to gain market advantage
or just save your shirt

a critical path
first focus on the endpoint
a backwards mapping

I say "thank you, God"
di'n't want to have to do it
"Your honor, settle".

dirty tricks, tactics
nastiness in the real world
hope they are divorced

negotiation
use jujitsu, not int’rests
know what YOU can do

one text procedure
mediator makes a list
criticize the list

"you just can't papa roach"

getting to yes book
don't read it, it won't matter
"Teach, give me an A"

a cosmic crapshoot
shoot our trash into the sun
jet fuel costs a lot

can't let things go, huh
sometimes in the legal world
like a tether ball

premature judgment
know you can't change someone else
you can change yourself

inventing options
invent first, decide later
separate the acts

broaden your options
is broaden even a word?
yeah it sure is, woo!

creating problems
dreaded circle chart of life
just throw a stick in

this is Anthrax pie
eat it quickly, go to sleep
drink, magic Kool-Aid

win/win sit'ation
don't blame the other person
release emotions

consistent values
know 'em and appreciate
"yeah right I'll sign it."

basic human needs
economic well being
praise, security

so many bright lights
I can't see the crowd, you ass
turn up the vocals?

my duality
I'm rolling with the punches
but I'm feeling trapped

an ad hoc approach
we make it up as we go
fly by pants' seat

your effective pitch
be afraid of team members
they might not know shit

manufacturing
consider distribution
"save us money, k?"

sitting in traffic
smoke weed and grin at the cops
roll the windows down

don't when it's cloudy
turn on the sprink'ler system
the water will come

memorize the lines
enjoy the sweat of the palms
the director yells

our couch was 10 bucks
living temporarily
I don't want cable

duh, we can do this
cultural myopia
unify, manage

some competitor
seed of your own destruction
waiting in the wings

in the rice paddy
squish, squash, in between your toes
"eyeball to eyeball"

Return of the Fly
Danzig is silly and short
"as long as it's dead"

"eyeball to eyeball"
"man in the black pajamas"
"face down in the muck"

decision making
know when to cut your losses
yeah, Fibonacci

reinvent the wheel?
No! Just beg, borrow, and steal!
pirate the software!

controlled, waxed sliding
careful, moguls'll get you
make sure you're in shape

next to the mansion
huuuuuge disparity of wealth
the workers live there

you have a sportscar?
how much is your car payment?
what's your credit score?

finish your food now
consumption is voracious
don't throw it away

trashcans filling up
"throw away society"
recycle your mom

globalization -
the impact is the dark side.
Expand! No. Should I?

GATT signatory,
we need your cheaper products.
don't buy Chinese goods

WTO
generic transnational
shit conspiracies

factor into cost
armed, private security
U.S. filmmaking

production model
we learn from the Japanese
we are not the best

soap and a loofah
suds down the crack of the back
the warm water soothes

tragic short marriage
"You should choose wisely, my son."
divorce is messy

target GPC
countries chomping at the bit
select an item

Japanese are smart
JIT delivery
low inventory

these early classes
the teachers want the schedule
well, what can you do?

flexible, (huh-huh)
to customize a product -
swap out components

exclusive vendor
we'll stock 10,000 units
"You meet the demand?"

unrealistic
can you step up and fulfill?
the GPC calls

you must be focused
to get good at anything
practice makes perfect

(barf!)

the more you do it
(work at negotiation)
the better you get

(barf again!)

sell this greybeard now
you'll get 900 dollars
poor or no options

the constitution
government regulations
ssh! Make adjustments!

'80s Germany
economic powerhouse
we want to glom on

1989
implode economically
capitalism?

business in China
capitalistic approach!
ummm… communism?

to be a Union,
change your policies for me.
you must harmonize

customer service
Ding! Necessary evil!
big waste of money

primary, support
activities – (money drain).
who makes the most cash?

Toshiba! Blu-Ray!
Paramount and Microsoft -
fools! You guys are effed

based on location -
comparative advantage.
cheaper to do it

better management,
competitive advantage.
"economic rents"

cheaper overseas
customer satisfaction!
add value, raise prices!

enter new markets
all the time, good sales people
reach out overseas

ethical questions
you should be good citizens,
but we want money

smack, crack, bats hit balls
(the player dances between)
strike him out, wild thing

babbling, once frozen
the water tickles the ears
ever so cold, brrr

the 1980's
economic powerhouse
Japan is the shit

dumping (undercut)
money from the government
subsidization

respect our patents
Japan in the '70's
don't buy Japanese

huge shift in our minds
the globe is a marketplace
Japanese? Cheap? Not.

if you fail to plan
(business in foreign countries)
then you plan to fail

be a pioneer
consider production costs
may be disastrous

rise of the foreign,
entertainment has fused with
the technology

value added chain
sip your champagne in jest
"of leather and fur"

I want some money
the machine sells red bull yeah
let's feel alert now!

vivid expression
the mind makes up crazy things
I cannot sit still

spin, let's spin it off
license out the rights, money
the public wants it

end of the movie
predictability kills
a waste of my time

Sea World waterpark
people screaming and peeing
the residents lost

to build a theme park
marketing and LBE
high ticket prices

new HD cam'ra
scan it with a Taliesin
Blu-Ray, the victor

travel agents suck
cheesy, thrift store chaqueta
shave your face some more

infuriation
45 dollar cab ride?
"I don't think so, Bub"

find a lake, jump off
beware underwater rocks
rinse your fears away

drive across the plain
fill stations and nudity
every 5 hours, smoke

athletes, steroid use
we don't want kids to take drugs
"I'm juiced up, are you?"

wilier clans fight
bloody battles, bravery
it's about winning

high class R.V. Parks
I want accommodations
get me off my ass

newspapers no more
screens are nice, and so are trees
my pet poo's all 'round

polarizing kills
media conglomerates
what goes 'round comes 'round

the rise of Shiva
I bring death and suffering
in fair Verona

indescribable
my brain craves my pillow more
so why the long face

let's work the kids hard
their small hands fit so nicely
oh so timid they're

I'm gonna getcha
on the way to the bike rack
you're good as dead, boy.

give memos to all
even the receptionist
they, too, have a heart

"Blasphemy, my boy.
Don't you even think of that.
Father IS the son.”

eating fried goodness
talk just as the mic feeds back
"vanilla shake, please."

at time the fl'wer blooms
min'ture wings flap with buzzing
the warm, sweet nectar

puritan ethic
the U.S. lives in the past
wish I was Saudi

my belt buckle shines
slam into the ropes, my friend
I'm gonna own you

live like a soldier
obey orders, sir, yes sir
beware of the Japs

why can't we get it?
Pearl Harbor, 9/11
they both were all fake

woman, oh wooo-man
ho, stop the insanity
power animal

highly effective
you look like Billy Corgan
Why yo ears pointy?

we want the money
or we can take the vodka
keeps me warm at night

eye contact can hurt
Russians can intimidate
drink some more vodka

the music, it sooths
The Bedlam In Goliath
The Mars Volta rules

Greece & Bulgaria
they have funny speak and skin
why are you so strange?

3" proxemics
these crammed subways in Asia
stop breathing on me

flashlights shining 'round
these S.O.B.'s are nothing
"window to the soul"

confusion sets in
the lady and the donkey
what kind of school's this?

give me some tea please
hold on and stand on my back
light my cigarettes

men in baths is weird
the women make you feel great
sit and watch the tube